Sold My Soul
by PandaBrain
Summary: I didn't die right away. Pain seeped away from my body as each cell became numb. I heard people screaming around me. I wanted to tell them to go away, let God take me away and do with me what he will. She was gone. I had nothing to live for. Natsukan


Hey guys. Panda here! ^^v

This is just a one shot I made up because studying was getting to me.

I'll be updating White Rock soon enough. Before xmas anyways :D

Again, guys, be honest with this. Point out any mistakes etc..

I shall love you forever :)

Ah, so happy. I'm going to a Placebo gig tomorrow :D

PS: When it's in italics, it's 3rd person view. When it's not, it's Nats p.o.v :)

Later, Panda ^^v

Summary

I didn't die right away. I could feel the pain seeping away from my body as each cell became numb. I felt tired as I heard the people screaming around me. I wanted to tell them to go away, to leave me be. Let God take me away and do with me what he will. I had nothing to live for any more. She was my life. Now that she was gone, what did I have to live for?

Story

It was only a few weeks ago, that she was alive. It is only now that I truly believe the phrase _"You don't know what you have, until it's gone." _And it's true. So unbelievably true. There was a hole in my chest that gradually by the second grew bigger, and larger until it was colossal. It was my fault she died. If I hadn't gone out, she wouldn't have followed. If I had loved her right, the way she deserved, this wouldn't have happened.

I was standing there listening to the orange-yellow waves crash against the rear of the cliff. The rocks, jagged due to the oceans constant, relentless ways, seemed to laugh at me, taunting me. As the sun set, it used to sparkle to me. The way the light played over the dips and curves as the water flowed past underwater alien objects. However, now it was dull. It no longer glistened and twinkled but blinded. It was no longer beautiful, it was hideous.

It all started a few weeks ago. My stupid mistake that cost her her life.

_Mikan had just received the best news of her life – She was pregnant. Her relationship with Natsume had been rocky for a month or so, so she was ecstatic that she was pregnant. She was going to have _his _child. Her one and only. Happiness bubbled within her heart and penetrated deep into her soul. For the sake of their son, Nichibotsu, they could save their relationship and live happily until the day they died._

"_Thank you Doc. I'll be back again soon for my next appointment!" She said excitedly to her doctor._

"_Yes, please do. I want all the best for you." He smiled at her gently and led her out of his office. Mikan couldn't be any more pleased. She believed that everything was going to be perfect from that day onwards._

_From her shoulder-bag, she pulled out her cell phone and dialled her husbands office number._

"_Hello, Hyuuga Corp. How may I help you today?" The sweet business voice of his personal secretary flowed through the phone._

"_Hello, it's me, Mikan. Is my husband in his office right now? I need to talk to him." Mikan voice held, showing no signs of any strange emotions._

"_Oh. It's you. Is it important?" The P.A's voice changed from sweet to bitter. Mikan knew the girl didn't like her. For what reasons Mikan did not know._

"_That's between us. Is he there?" Her voice sounded just as harsh, like sand paper rubbing against your skin.  
"No, he's out." she droned, obviously not pleased._

"_Okay. Goodbye." she said quickly and hung up. Her husband was a busy man, so she could wait until he got home. Unfortunately, she had no idea if she'd still be awake. Recently, he'd been coming home later, spending more time at the office than usual._

_She sighed to herself. Maybe, if she called him on her way back home, he'd pick up his own cell. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, barley a cloud could be seen in the sky. She walked down the street, thought wandering off to what she'd buy her little boy, and what _Father_ Natsume would be like. A small smiled played on her lips._

_Her continued strolling peacefully, greeting anyone she knew on her way past. The streets were quite pretty. The houses at this end of town were all done up, looking more like art than houses. The __architecture__ was beautiful, almost like something you'd find in places that were going extinct._

_She had finally reached her door, and as she was about to insert the key into the hole, she noticed the door was open. She slowly entered popping in her head and quietly moving inside the house. She heard noises coming from one of the rooms upstairs and quietly creeped upstairs to investigate. Her stomach was filled with butterflies at the thoughts that this could be a thief or someone more dangerous._

_As she got closer, the noises become more clear, yet, she still didn't understand what she was hearing._

"_Ahh.. Nmmh.." she heard a voice moan. Something clicked in her mind as the next words were spoken._

"_Nmmhn... Nah-Nahtsume~! Ha-Harder!" a strange woman's voice moaned. There was no way she could be wrong now, but she still had to check. How could he cheat on her? She quickly rushed the door, opening it quickly. It didn't bang against the wall, but the cool air the drifted in the door caressed Natsume's back. He turned around feeling someone's gaze on him._

"_M-Mikan!" She could clearly see that he was shocked. His eyes went slightly wide and his mouth hung slightly open._

"_Natsume! What are you doing? Why did you stop?" The woman complained, completely oblivious to the fact that they had a bystander._

"_Wait, Mikan!" Natsume called to her as she swiftly turned around, heading for the stairs and then for the front door to the outside world – she had to get out of the house. Her heart was broken. It felt like someone had kicked her so hard it winded her. How could he? How _could _he?_

_Sobs broke free from her lips as he caught up to her, grabbed her arm, and spun her around._

"_Let go of me!" her voice screamed into his face, "Don't touch me! Get your hands off me! Let me go! Let me go!" She constantly screamed into his face, struggling against his grip._

"_Mikan, please, stop! Mikan! Please, listen to me!" he pleaded trying to look into her eyes, yet failing miserably as she kept her eyes on the floor, still trying to back up._

"_What the fuck is there to explain?!" she screamed, still keeping her eyes on the ground. If she looked at him again, she was sure she was going to shatter. "I caught you fucking a slut _in my bed!!"_ he winced at her words. She pulled harder on her restraints._

"_Mikan, please, listen! Please, hear m-" he was cut off, as she managed to escape his clutches, open the door, and run out the house._

_She ran down the concrete stairs than led her to the street, and ran across the road. Little did she know a lorry was heading right towards her._

"MIKAN!" _Natsume's voice screamed as she disappeared under the still moving vehicle. " Oh shit! Oh Shit! OH SHIT!" his voice chanted. He ran over to his wife's corpse and cradled her in his arms. "Mikan... Mikan... Mikan... No... please... Mikan... Don't leave me... Please... I love you... Mikan..." he whispered to her dead body whilst tears made a river down his face._

_Like the Gods were mourning with him, the weather had drastically changed. A fierce silver sky replaced the sunny blue oasis from earlier that day. It had started to rain, first a light drizzle, then suddenly buckets drenched his almost naked body, boxers being the only clothing he wore. His heart had broken, just as hers did when she saw him cheating on her._

"_Grawwww!" He screamed out his frustration to the sky. His pain didn't lessen any, and he didn't feel any better. He just sat there and cried, holding his wife's non-living body in his arms. Holding her in his arms, he sobbed into her wet hair._

Up until her funeral did he find out that he was about to be a father. Mikan's doctor had gone to pay his respects, had told the already depressed man, and apologised for both of his losses.

That's what led him to where he was. Sitting where they met, on a cliff edge watching the sun setting. With the sun, his soul will die with it. He didn't want to live. What did he possibly have to live for? He no longer felt. There was a gaping hole in him, where his heart used to be. But the black hole that is depression ate it, destroyed everything that made him.

He sighed.

"I guess it's time." He mumbled to himself. He took one confident step and closed his eyes. His body tumbled over the edge and plunged into the ice cold water instantly stunning him. His breath was knocked out of his body and he slowly sank lower and lower into the murky depth that was the sea. Pain started to surround him, and he called out in pain, only for the sound to be muffled by the huge monster's body. He swallowed more and more water as he slowly declined into the ocean.

_I'm sorry... I love you Mikan._

As he thought his last words, she appeared before him, holding a boy. The boy was a toddler and was the most gorgeous thing Natsume had ever seen in his life. His dark brown hair and maroon eyes, both seemed to be a mix of both his parents. Smiling at the image he had seen, Natsume died, forgetting the pain of the water that engulfed his lungs and outer body. He saw his wife, and his son. They were happy now. What more could he wish for?


End file.
